News Archive

  • Kettle Bell Ringer

    Red Kettle Bell Ringer Straight Up Eye-Ballin' These Cheap Mother Fuckers

    Herman "Salvation-One-Man-Army" Jones Is Tryin' to Get Some Damn Donations Up In This Piece.

  • Thanksgiving

    Chopping Head Off Turkey, Watching It Die Made For A Special Thanksgiving

    The Anderson's Did Their Part By Using A Free Range Bird.

  • Food at the Orgy

    Groupon and Craigslist Will Team Up to Provide Catering for Orgies

    Studies have shown free food is the best way to line up a last-minute tenth person to an event.

  • Church Group Evolves

    Small Creationist Group Evolved Into Large Organization Over Time

    Association Devoted to Promoting Intelligent Design Proves to Be Fitter Than Rest of the Competition. Membership Swells as a Result.

Featured News Archive

  • Shopping or Sick?

    Study Finds Diarrhea, "Feminine Issues" Both Solid Sick-Day Excuses

    Mr. Anderson Always Gets Super Uncomfortable When the Topic of Menstrual Cycles Comes Up.

  • Stripper Buys a Car

    Exotic Dancer Makes Down Payment On Car With Two Thousand One Dollar Bills

    Cinnamon Got Up Extra Early to be Down at the Car Dealership by 3:30 PM for Her Big Day.

  • Strahan Teeth

    Fashion Store The Gap Names Michael Strahan as Their Official Spokesmodel

    True Blood Star Anna Paquin to Appear With the Former NFL Star in Several Ads.

  • Obnoxious woman

    Obnoxious Moviegoer Subjected to Wave of Passive-Aggressive 'Ahems'

    "Hi, Pam. No, This Isn't a Bad Time. What? Shuuut Uuuppp!?!"


  • facebook logo
    Let's Be Facebook Friends Instead of Actual Friends. Things Are Always Better Without Eye Contact.
  • twitter logo
    If Laughing at Yourself Builds Character, Follow Us On Twitter to See It Happen 140 Times Per Tweet.
  • YouTube logo
    Subscribe to Our YouTube Channel Because It is WAAAY Easier Than Reading All of These Damn Words.
  • google-plus logo
    Plus One Our Google-Plus Page and a Member of Our Staff Could Be Your 'Plus One' in a Truck Stop Restroom.
  • Subscribe to RSS Feed
    Often Neglect the Things You Love? Subscribe In a Reader. You're Scatterbrained. It's OK. It's Called "Knowing Yourself."