Joke Grenade News

  • Politicians Scramble for Koch Brothers Funding

    Republican Candidates Scramble For Koch Money

    ASPEN, CO---Ambitious Conservative candidates eagerly await the yield of an Americans For Prosperity fundraiser. The Super PAC is holding...

  • Meth Addict wishes her meth was still sudafed

    Dope Fiend Wishes To Turn Crystal Meth Back to Sudafed

    With the pollen count on the rise, crystal meth junkie Carla Sanders admits, "I've made bad life choices."

  • Woman Puts her dying social life into a hospice facility

    Woman Checks Dying Social Life Into Hospice

    Angela Locke's 47 Facebook friends and the Tuesday night "Mystery Book Club" gang have been encouraged "to make themselves comfortable."

  • Genocide is still fucked up most people agree

    Genocide Still Considered Fucked Up, Study Finds

    An overwhelming majority of the citizens in most countries around the world still think genocide is a really bad way of solving a nation's problems...

  • Hunter didn't like DeNiro in the Deer Hunter

    Avid Outdoorsman Highly Dissatisfied With Rental of The Deer Hunter

    Carl Jensen Handles His Disappointment the Only Way He Knows How... By Clinging to His Rifle.

  • humor malaysia airlines flight 370

    Other News-Worthy World Events That Have Nothing to Do With the Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 Story

    THE WORLD --- With CNN and other cable news networks providing around-the-clock coverage of...

  • Nazario Moreno Mexican Cartel Leader is Killed Again

    Deceased Mexican Cartel Leader Who Was Killed, May Be Dead Again

    MEXICO CITY--- The Mexican government confirmed last week that Nazario Moreno Gonzalez, leader of the Knights Templar Cartel, was killed in...

  • Liam Neeson is Missing and so is a Malaysia Airlines Jet

    Liam Neeson is Missing!

    An International Hunt is On to Find Missing Malaysia Airlines Passenger Jet 370, Which is Carrying Air Marshal and Famous Actor Liam Neeson. So Far, the Plane Appears to Have Just Vanished in Mid-Air.

  • Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin in a Meat Locker Cold War

    Putin's Response to Global Criticism On Ukraine Invasion: "Cri-Me-A River, You Girlie Man!"

    Pro-Russian leadership in Crimea swiftly moved to be "annexed" by their bigger and stronger Mother...

  • 6 foot Marlin is Really Stinky Catfish

    Relationship With Six-Foot Marlin Turns Out to Be Nasty Catfish Scam

    Sad Fisherman: "I thought I was in an online relationship with a beautiful sea creature."

  • Chuck Hagel military fire sale

    Hagel Suggests Military Fire Sale? Everything Must Go!

    Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel requests deep military budget cuts. Learn the details inside so you're not such a dumb-ass all the time.

  • Comcast Sells Meth to Netflix

    Netflix to Pay Comcast for Speed

    Local Cable Guy: "Methamphetamine Use on the Rise Amongst Those On-Demand-Internet-Streaming Types."

  • NSA Super Computer Agrees to an Interview

    Self-Aware NSA Super Computer Begins Media Tour

    BLUFFDALE, UT--- A National Security Agency Super Computer known as the Vortex Algorithm Generator agreed to a feature-length interview.

  • Local Magician Found Sawed In Half In Apparent Suicide

    Local Magician Found Sawed In Half In Apparent Suicide

    Malnourished Rabbits Neglected for Days in Top Hats. Authorities Still On the Lookout for Vanishing Scarf. Case Being Ruled as "Textbook Suicide."

  • Chinese Population Control

    China: No Delivery For Food Orders Under $15, Limit One Child Per Family

    If Leftover Food Cannot Be Sold, It is Often Thrown Into the River. And By Food, We Mean Little Girls.

  • Not in My House

    Speaker Boehner with Dikembe Mutombo: "Not in My House"

    WASHINGTON, DC--- House Speaker John Boehner, frustrated by repeated legislative setbacks, brought in former-NBA Star Dikembe Mutombo on Friday to manage the Tea Party wing...

  • Hulk Hogan With Action Figure

    Hulk Hogan Found Playing With Himself in Local Convenient Store

    Cops Are Called As Pro Wrestling Star Playfully Beats On Himself at Mr. Lee's Gas and Go.

Obituaries and Funeral Announcements

  • Sean Connery
    007 Secret Agent and International Man of Mystery died of multiple-organ failure from excessive martini consumption.

  • Local Man
    32 Year-old Preston Gomez died doing what he loved most, which was reading the paper underneath a dangling piano.

  • Nelson Mandella?
    South-African Revolutionary and Politician who ended apartheid. Mandela was nominated for an Oscar for Shawshank Redemption.

News In Photos

  • Barack Obama Sarah Palin Mitt Romney in Mom Jeans

    Super Stylish Mom Jeans Make Thunderous Comeback Amongst Political Elite

  • TSA Screener

    TSA Screeners to Play Barry White Music Overhead During Routine Pat Downs

Featured NEWS

  • Sensitivity Training
    Nothing But Fags, Cry Babies in Man's Court-Ordered Sensitivity Training
  • chubby kid
    Sixteen Year-Old Fifth-Grader Deemed 'Too Big to Fail'


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